Day 5: April 5, 2019

Extremely Tired, Angry, and Anxious. 

When people find out that I teach middle school, they always give me a variation of the same response: "Oh my god! I could never do that." Even the guys my boyfriend works with, who are Nuclear Engineers, say this. I giggle to myself and smile because what they don't know is that I can barely do it, either.

This is year two of teaching ELA and writing for 7th graders and it is killing me. I don't sleep through the night. My head is constantly filled with anxious thoughts about behavior, lesson plans, parents, meetings, and how the hell to survive until June 7. When I began teaching, I loved it. Sure, I had rough kids, but the good outweighed the bad by so much. Then, everything shifted. I was hired at a Title 1 school and was warned about the behavior and the fights. I thought, surely it's not that bad.

It's not as bad as they said. It's worse. It's "I panic about getting out of bed and having to go back there." bad. It's "waking up in the middle of the night sweating from nightmares about classroom fights" bad. It's "curling into myself on the floor of another teacher's classroom and bawling my eyes out" bad.

When we dismiss for the final time on the last day of school, I'll hang up my work badge and say goodbye to being a teacher. It's a noble career but it's one that I simply cannot do anymore. Not at the expense of my soul and mind. People always joke about teaching being rough, about bad kids, and having to buy your own supplies (I've probably spent over $500 out of pocket on my students). Yet, it never seems as bad as it is once you're knee deep in kids cursing you out and throwing chairs at each other.

After today, we have 40 more school days. Just 40 more.

Day 4: April 2, 2019

Journey to Niagara Falls

I'm not sure how obvious it is to outsiders but my job makes me miserable. I was just about counting down the seconds until Spring Break would begin. Sebastian and I had planned out a trip to see Niagara Falls, the Canada side.

We flew out in the very early hours of the 26th and stayed in Niagara, Ontario until the morning of the 30th. Even better, we were be there for Sebastian's birthday, eating dessert with a view of the falls.

 After checking into our hotel, we immediately went down to the Table Rock Welcome Center. This is where you go to get up close and personal with the Falls on the Canada side. Before we were even all the way there, we were amazed. The sheer size and noise of the water was intense.

There are two falls, one smaller and then the famous Horseshoe Falls. It was a chilly 40* out so the mist flying off the water was a bit unpleasant but it was so beautiful that it didn't even matter.

We wandered a lot in Niagara, taking everything in, especially through cheesy gift shops. I was hard-pressed not to buy everything with a cute moose on it. And yes, maple syrup is in abundance.

We paid $32 CAD to go 120 feet below ground and travel through tunnels to stand behind the falling water of the Horseshoe Falls. The sound enveloped us in these dark and dank tunnels. Everyone had cameras out. We were freaking behind Niagara Falls.

We spent a whole day in Niagara-On-The-Lake bouncing between wineries and distilleries, tasting the loveliest wines. We both discovered we have a love for the horrifically expensive Icewines. We sipped and gave each other sad looks when we realized we could absolutely not spend $98 (Canadian or US) for a 7oz bottle. But, damn, we wanted to.

We saw the Falls from every angle - right up front, above in the Clifton Hills Skywheel, and lit up under the night sky from Skylon Tower. Every time was just as breath-taking and unreal. We took photos of the water like we take pictures of our pup.

Some of the best parts were the down time spent in the hotel. Just being together. Whether under blankets watching Hulu or relaxing in the hot tub. We got to just be with each other and enjoy the simplicity of that.

I got lucky. My travel partner is the best one I could have ever hoped for.


Here's to every trip we take in the future.