Day 2: March 15, 2019

Friday, March 15, 2019

Friday.

Thank God it's Friday. Because Friday, after 2:38pm, means no more screaming-children-induced headaches, no more running around trying to figure out where someone is because they left the classroom without permission, again, no more shouting to be heard, no more waiting to be allowed to teach, no more fights to break up.

Friday means I have two days to relax and restart. I can take long showers and lather myself in lavender lotion. I can curl into the couch cushions and watch Netflix until the sun goes down. I can turn off my alarms. I can socialize. Or not.

I know everyone looks forward to their weekends but I never looked forward to them like this. Not in a desperate, i-need-them-to-survive-my-job way, like I do with being a Title I Middle School Teacher. I give 110% of my being every week and get home spent and having received only about 20% of it back. The rest is failing grades due to not doing the work, cutting class, or being suspended. Parent phone calls that don't help. Begging students to just give me 30 seconds of calm in the chaos.

I never thought I would be a teacher - let alone a Middle School teacher. It all happened by chance. I thought I loved it. I thought it would get easier. Instead, I constantly realize I am losing pieces of myself as I fight to do even the simplest parts of my job. I realize now, almost 2 years in, that this isn't the permanent path for me. It has taught me 1,000,000 life lessons but after June 7, I will close the book on my career as a teacher in pursuit of something that brings joy - versus takes it away.

I have a few ideas. I'd love to write as a major part of my job. Or work with passionate people. Maybe I'll be a writer or an editor or a social media manager or a communications officer. Though, honestly, I'm really just ready to see wherever the world takes me.

Until then, Spring Break is only one week away.




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